Loving Your Reflection: 7 Kid's Books About Body Positivity

I believe in body positivity, but I'm still figuring out how to do it

Hello! I'm Sri Juneja and this is my children’s book recommendation newsletter. You can subscribe by clicking on this handy little button:

Let’s get going…

Photo by Norma Mortenson

“Wow, you don’t look like you weigh this much!” the nurse exclaimed in surprise as I stepped onto the weighing machine. I was mere minutes away from a major procedure and my body was tense with anxiety. This comment (fortunately?) wrenched through my stress bubble and yanked me out.

How do you respond to that? I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. My startled look probably made her realize what she had said. She quickly reassured me, “Oh, I mean you wear your weight well.”

Not much of an improvement but I had other things on my mind. I gave a tight smile and stepped back into my stress bubble focused only on what was about to transpire for the next few hours.

That was many years ago and I still can’t recall all the stuff that happened pre-op or post-op. But this exchange lives (in vivid detail) rent-free in my head. I can tell you the color of the nurse’s scrubs and the color of the tile flooring. I can clearly remember the pattern on the barely-there robes they make you wear when you visit medical facilities.

This conversation has troubled me for so long and I’ve dissected it into millions of little pieces. (This isn’t even the worst thing someone has said to me. But it’s the insidiousness of the comment that has stuck with me all these years.) Not only what was intended—including the nurse’s own biases—but my own shameful reaction to it. I was mortified that I weighed so much followed quickly by an intense sense of relief that thank goodness, I hid it well!

When I launched my survey a few weeks ago, a newsletter subscriber requested a post about body positivity. (Let the record show I clearly love your feedback and input.) This is a topic I’ve wanted to cover since I first came up with the idea of Readable Moments Book Club. But I’ve struggled with it because while I love that body positivity is a thing now (why wasn’t this more mainstream during my adolescence?!) I really grapple with how to approach it, especially in my parenting journey.

How do you raise a kid to be body-positive when you’re not even sure you’re there yourself? Isn’t that not practicing what you preach? I’ve made a lot of progress but there are still frequent intervals of insecurity around my weight and appearance. I’ve decided to actively work on this for myself and my family. I figure if I start now then hopefully by the time my kid is older I’ll have better answers to what will undoubtedly be tough questions.

In complete honesty, my biggest hangup has been around weight. I’ve always equated health with weight and I’ve been learning that we need to stop conflating the two. Here are a few resources that have helped get me started on this path:

• Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture* by

  Virginia Sole-Smith
  : This incredibly well-researched book has taught me how inherent cultural biases are against bigger body sizes and how entangled that has become in the way we perceive and approach health. Sole-Smith also has a newsletter I recommend subscribing to as well.

• Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity* by Peter Attia: No, I am not interested in reversing my age and living indefinitely like some billionaires out there. I am interested in learning how I can age in a way that allows me to be able to do the things I love in my last few decades and put the least burden on my loved ones. What does this book have to do with body positivity? Nothing, really. But you do learn how superficial our understanding of health is and how someone can look fit but be just years away from a major heart episode. Or, conversely, someone can be fat and healthy. Between this book and Sole-Smith’s, I’m learning how important it is to decouple size from health.

• This post from the Evil Witches newsletter was incredibly timely as I was putting this newsletter together. I hope it helps you feel less alone in knowing that we’re all trying our best to do right by the kids in our life!

I don’t have all the answers yet. Not surprisingly, the first place I start is usually with reading material. My goal is to keep updating you on this topic as I keep learning. I hope you’ll do the same!

❓A few questions for you (hit the comment button below to respond):

• What has been your journey to body positivity?

• How are you having conversations about body image in your home?

• What resources have you found that have helped you navigate body positivity for yourself and the kids in your life?

For the babies and toddlers…

I Love All Of Me!

Written by Lorie Ann Grover and Illustrated by Carolina Búzio

Recommended Ages: 0-3 years old

This adorable, rhyming board book is the perfect introduction to our body and the amazing things our body does. It could have been generic but the descriptions the author has chosen perfectly depict what baby and toddlerhood are like. For example, in one part a toddler is chasing after a dog and eating ice cream:

“I love my legs that run. I love my licky tongue.”

And if that isn’t toddlerhood just summed up in two sentences, I don’t know what is! The illustrations are bright and lovely and capture the exuberance of babies and toddlers perfectly.

Buy now*

We’re Different, We’re The Same

Written by Bobbi Jane Kates and Illustrated by Joe Mathieu

Recommended Ages: 1-4 years old

How does Sesame Street always get it right? In this board book, there’s a great learning opportunity: form vs. function. The book highlights a specific characteristic (form), like a nose, and observes how everyone’s nose is different. And yet, even if noses look different, all noses functionally are the same. Each page is brimming with colorful Sesame Street characters and diverse people; kids can easily spend lots of time poring over each page to identify all the different things the characters are doing. As you read this with your kids, I highly recommend making it interactive. Encourage kids to match the body parts shown in the ‘form’ page to the people in the ‘function’ pages.

Buy now

To celebrate our bodies…

I Like Myself!

Written by Karen Beaumont and Illustrated by David Catrow

Recommended Ages: 1-4 years old

As always, David Catrow’s illustrations will steal your heart. His zany, endearing cartoon sketchwork is so compelling, that you just can’t look away. And his illustrations are essential to the precociousness of this story. This book is ferocious in its self-love. The protagonist rhymes her way into explaining all the parts of herself she loves and why. While there’s quite a focus on her physical characteristics, there’s also plenty of focus on emotional / personality traits as well. One of my favorite parts is when you see another kid jeering at the main character but Catrow has “muted” the colors of the bully so that your eyes skim right over him and focus instead on the main character. She goes on to say that she doesn’t care what others think—she’s too busy enjoying herself to care. I loved that they showed her having such high self-esteem—the impact of what others were saying barely registered. I would use this as an opportunity to ask kids what they love about themselves and why. A really fun, rhyming book that encourages positive self-talk and self-esteem!

Buy now*

Bodies Are Cool

Written and Illustrated by Tyler Feder

Recommended Ages: 2-5 years old

This book is pure jubilation. While it’s certainly intended for kids, as an adult I couldn’t help but stare hungrily at the celebration of all the different bodies that were visualized. It brought me relief to see some parts of myself not only reflected in the pages but being celebrated as well. As you go through each page, there’s so much joy and community greeting you. I loved the vibrant diversity that was displayed in the illustrations: body diversity, ability diversity, racial diversity, religious diversity, etc. The book identifies various physical parts of a body and how they differ but each section always ends with the same refrain: “Bodies are cool!”

Buy now*

Stories that remind us to love ourselves…

The Big Bath House

Written by Kyo Maclear and Illustrated by Gracey Zhang

Recommended Ages: 4-8 years old

NOTE: There is nudity in this book. I’d recommend looking through it to make sure you’re comfortable before sharing it with your kids.

This is a therapeutic little read beautifully weaving a story about family, culture, and body positivity. A young girl visits her grandmother in Japan and together, all the ladies in her family make the walk to the local bath house. With the little girl, we get to experience what it’s like being at the bath house: the camaraderie, washing and scrubbing each other down, and then, finally, the luxurious relief of sinking into the big bath with your family and friends. The girl observes all the differences in the (nude) body types she sees, acknowledging that all of them are beautiful. There’s a serenity to this book that can be attributed to the soft, muted blues of the watercolor sketches and the beautifully lyrical rhythm of the text.

Buy now*

Beautifully Me

Written by Nabela Noor and Illustrated by Nabi H. Ali

Recommended Ages: 5-200 years old

NOTE: I would recommend reading to kids this only if they have body image concerns.

The recommended age for this book is not a typo. This book is perfect for anyone of any age. I would say this is required reading for adults and optional for kids (see my note above). This lovely storybook is going to show you in a few, powerful pages, how body image issues begin and perpetuate. We begin with Zubi excitedly getting ready for the first day of school. But as she gets ready to leave, she observes every member of her family complain about their figure or weight. And then, on the playground, one of the kids calls another fat and Zubi begins to start connecting the dots. When she decides to go on a diet too, Zubi’s family is stirred into action as they recall their behaviors earlier and try to dissuade Zubi from following in their footsteps. There are two things that I loved about this book: (1) I’m so glad it showed how a young kid observes and then absorbs the indirect messages about negative body image; (2) The fact that this is featuring a South Asian family is so important to me. South Asian cultures loudly criticize individuals (to their face) about their weight and appearance. As someone who grew up in that culture, I can tell you that I am exceptionally good at negative self-talk largely because of this. This book serves as the perfect reminder that a lot of the way we perceive ourselves starts inside the home.

Buy now*

Big

Written and Illustrated by Vashti Harrison

Recommended Ages: 5-10 years old

Oh my, oh my, oh my. This book packs quite the punch. It’s a heartbreaking story about body shaming and how much words can hurt. As a baby and toddler, a little girl is celebrated for all the new things she’s learning and lauded for how big she’s getting. And then, one day, all of a sudden she is told she is too big. After an incident that results in cruel comments from her classmates, the young girl is left devastated. Harrison’s illustrations are jaw-droppingly haunting as she uses literal size to evoke the reader’s empathy: she magnifies the girl’s size, cramming her into the pages, so readers can feel exactly how the character feels: like she’s too big and doesn’t fit. After letting out all her emotions, the girl realizes that the perceptions that have impacted her are not actually hers. She decides the way she thinks of herself is more important than others’ opinions and reclaims the meaning of big. She, quite literally, makes space for herself. This is such a moving portrayal of how much words can hurt and change the way we see ourselves. I wish there was more shown about the forces at play that made the protagonist realize her self-worth. Abigail The Whale* does a good job (although problematic in many other ways) of helping kids with positive self-talk. I think this is the perfect book for kids who have experienced body shaming. It’s also a great reminder to kids about being kind and compassionate to others and understanding how our words and actions can hurt others.

Buy now*

❓A few questions for you (hit the comment button below to respond):

• What has been your journey to body positivity?

• How are you having the conversation about body image in your home?

• What resources have you found that have helped you navigate body positivity for yourself and the kids in your life?

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